A couple things are circling round my brain.
Kevin always tells clients to "write it down", he says "you can't just think about what is bothering you, you can't just type it up, you have to write it down". I recently realized, that is what I did. To clear severe anxiety and major depression, I wrote down how I felt whenever I felt it. And then I turned to divine healing level one to resolve it. Recently I suggested it to a client, who had been told by Kevin to "write it down" but I'm not sure she ever did. So I had her write down where she was at, and via text, I guided her through 2 divine healing charts (and 2 support charts). This resolved 5/8 of the issues she wrote down and she said she felt much better. I'm so glad it worked so well for her as it did for me. Many iterations will be required, but maybe not as many as I needed, as me holding space for her, seems to speed the process, compared to me holding space for myself. Another client outright said "I want to let go, but I don't know how". This is one way that learning how may be possible.
I am reading this book:
While I've been suspecting it for a while, that children who are gifted are actually coping with trauma, and this is why they appear gifted. We develop superior intellectual ability because we feel we need to to survive. Esogetics says "kids who talk early, do so, because they feel the adults around them fail to understand them (make them feel seen and safe) if they don't". Also, as I share in a previous article, maybe there is a podcast on gifted trauma not because being gifted is traumatic, but because trauma precedes the development of giftedness. What sealed the deal for me is: why the book above focuses so much on the negative emotions of parents, surely if it is common for gifted children to have parents with this much emotional immaturity, the trauma of being their children would be an early seed planted, maybe before the child "chose" to develop intellect over other skills, hence asynchronous development. This is not a "blame the parent thing" but we do benefit from considering that what the parent doesn't resolve passes down to the child to experience, so the parent can see it from another perspective, and maybe this can help them resolve it. One thing that stands out strong for me, is the book saying "for kids who think learning should be fun, they give up easily when learning is hard". This is one of my biggest arguments put forth to our school: how dare they ruin learning (one of the most enjoyable things we can do) for our kids?! I don't give up when things get hard, I burn through my feelings of "I will never be able to" because I know over time, somehow, I become very capable of what I thought I could never do.
It is certainly hard to trust a child who appears to be underachieving and wasting their talent, no matter how I try to see things for what they are, and heal what I am presented with and no more, I don't know if I am making any progress. But I continue to be impressed with what my child can do, despite his choice not to do many other things. It's his life, I want the best for him and try to set him up for opportunity, but I won't force, except for very basic hygiene - nails cut, shower at least a couple times a month, teeth brushed at least once a day... and I am trying to accept when hubby wants to push a bit, because I know he is right a lot of the time.
I hope this helps?
When in doubt, watch Season 2 Episode 1 of Odd Squad. The gifted child who doesn't fit in, ends up becoming the villain, because of his disdain for the Odd Squad, for making the world more boring instead of more odd. There were unresolved issues beneath his brilliance, and without recognition, he chose to use his power for evil, isolating himself even more, instead of his power for good.
It comes back to we need to develop all 3 layers of the brain, and the elevator in between, in addition to recognizing our experiences as opportunities to process unresolved conflict, so we can heal, by letting go.