The material used in all of my articles are for educational purposes only.
I think it's time to make this clear, and know, like everything, it may change. My blog and social media posts are for me. To share information (but also to keep track of "how to"s that I myself use frequently). It could be a good book, video, audio, etc. I may include some screenshots or images from the book, so people can capture the highlights, and know what's available.
My intention is never to take from other's (hard work which they deserve to be paid for). People who can afford what they have to offer will buy it (just like I did). I share so that those who can not afford to make a million mistakes can see what may be useful. Sometimes, I am also offering an example, for context of what I am really trying to say. I hope that in sharing the content of others, their work attracts attention from people who may not find them otherwise. And, to be honest, if I am investing the time to learn, I feel better if I can share the highlights of what I have learned with "somebody", it's part of my learning process.
While reading my highlights may shortchange someone else from drawing their own conclusions, most people who stop discovering for themselves after reading what I have to say, were never going to discover for themselves, so learning a bit may be better than nothing. The person who brought this concern to my attention also shared that "creating order out of chaos is a way to understand things at a deeper level".
When it comes to people, I do not see a client and then air their dirty laundry. I do however talk about people in my life that I struggle with. At times people in my life may disagree with what I have to say, but for the most part, people in my life don't read what I have to say, and this is why I write. I am interrupted often when I try to speak to someone, writing allows me to complete my process.
As I am learning from books like:
It is hard for me to connect with others, because I think in a very deep way, that most people are not interested in. That said, some people are, and the process of allowing myself the freedom to write through my struggles, to resolve them, even if only momentarily, allows me to offer an example to others, about what they can do too.
Re-reading this article, and knowing my Kirlian Photo fits pattern 3), makes a lot of sense: https://www.yourlifeplan.ca/post/esogetics-as-described-by-rosemary-bourne
I am not "right", there are times when someone might read what I say and be upset with me because they see it a different way. These are times where I have to wrestle with myself. Why did I share this, is it for the greater good, can I remove it, etc.
Sometimes I want to raise awareness, about things people do in general, but the person takes it as a personal attack. Generally it's people doing what they think is right, but there is wiggle room for us as a society to decide "I mean, is it right?"
And from this, spurs change, when people start to think "you know, I don't think that is right after all". Change scares a lot of people, because it requires them to look at their actions and decide if it is right for them, and if not, then what do they do. Just like for me, these are opportunities to heal.
I've always been the kid who saw the emperor is naked, I don't care how many people ooo and ahh about the fake clothes, I will blog/post about it, for my own sanity.
It's very hard for me to be programmed. I've always assumed that it was my "learning disability" which, when accommodated, allowed me to learn more, because the accommodation allowed me to bypass my natural rejection, which was trying to signal to me, that more important healing (or course correction) was needed.
The more I try to force information in, the less I am able to travel my natural path, the bigger the price will be, to course correct later on.
Allowing myself to heal, means pausing to listen to how I feel. Using the methods that I have access to (often Divine Healing, life, or sleep) to gain more insight, so I can digest, and put to rest, whatever is coming up for me, that was preventing me, from shoving in, whatever I thought I should.
This is what a lot of my posts/articles are about: whatever I have come to realize, by looking at things most people try to look away from. I've had major depression, bipolar disorder, severe social anxiety, and insomnia. I've gone into my fears, instead of running away, and every time, I've seen something worth the experience.
The other things that can end up in my articles are case studies.
When I write about someone other than myself or my kids, it tends to be purely about RestoreChi, because I want people to know what can be healed and how. I never mention names, nor do I do what many authors do, which is to give you any descriptors about the person, unless it is crucial to the story.
When I write about the Information Field, Divine Healing, Esogetics, Gene Keys, and Astrology (in one case, I may show myself next to some else, with all the identifying information removed, as an example of the type of people we tend to attract into our lives and why) I'm generally just writing about me and sometimes my kids. General stories might also include my husband. As I want to normalize what most people don't show: we suffer, we are not perfect, but we use the tools (and the wisdom) to work through it.
I talk about patterns in Human Design and Soul Contract, that may be red flags or general traits, but nothing specific to anyone, unless I have permission to share, with all identifying information removed.
I will often show how Soul Contract lessons are demonstrated in shows, movies, and biographies. Because this is where we get to see what people don't want share about themselves. It's proof of concept, that what my film teacher told us is right: there are only so many plot lines (there are only so many lessons). Everything is a derivation from that.
And, because I have seen so many amazing people/souls, and I have the ability to hold space for what people/souls tend to do, I can see how the rules are bent to bring in more.
Kind of like how AI is used to create, based on what has been created by others. I know that many people are upset with AI, for so many reasons. But I also know that the person who is able to create using AI is able to do something they couldn't before, they stand on the shoulders' of giants. And it is for them to wrestle with "is this right" or "how do I make this right", "how do I take from others and create something that feeds me, and that is of value, without feeling like I did something wrong". While some of what they create is yucky, some of it is great. All paths must be walked, and it's not easy. Nor is mine. There's so much grey.
On that note, here is an excellent article about why a true artist would not use AI, and I agree: https://www.muddycolors.com/2024/04/the-a-i-lie/
Assuming I am allowed to continue, yesterday, I read about gender affirming medical care. While I "was" outraged that people were impacting their sexual organs, and bodies, with hormones, not realizing the impact on their brain, it turns out that limited studies do show, the impact on the brain, is to make it more masculine or feminine, depending on the direction the hormones are intended to go. There are still consequences that people need to be aware of, just like with everything we tamper with. But without tampering, we don't know. And this is not far off from my posts and articles either.
I am not here to gossip or to get you to take my side, though sometimes venting about mainstream medicine or the school system may feel that way. This is another common trait in the book above: seeing beyond what most people accept and being outraged about it, wanting to raise awareness and make change. I know we can't change the world, because the world is supposed to have variety, from which we can choose and learn from.
We have to seperate the system from the people. The people in the system may struggle with what they are told to do, or they may believe in it. They may be more right than me, or they may be wrong and yet to see, or they may never see. Life is hard. We judge ourselves, in the end.
If I deny myself the right to write, then I deny myself the process of working through life. If I make what I write I private, it loses the fact that we are social beings. I know this is not what people want to see, I know they think my inner process is personal, but is it personal to me, or to them? Can I not say how I see things, to see if those things change, when they are outside of me? Is that not my right to exist, even if we coexist? All of this is to be determined.
At times, someone will get upset, and I will have to process why they are upset, and tease out, where was I wrong, where do I still need to grow in compassion and understanding, does what they are upset about require an edit, a deletion, or a rewrite?
It's not that I don't care. Nor am I trying to excuse my actions or mistakes.
Often I write because people don't want to see what I want to show them. There is personal history here too. The birth of my writing came from trying to get rid of an abusive stepfather. Telling my parents didn't get rid of him (apparently I wasn't saying the write key phrases to get their buy in), and writing an essay about it for school didn't help either (they simply corrected my grammar and said it was "creative").
What did help, was telling someone that I didn't want them to leave me because... (and I recognize the pattern here too, it's all about a natural need for connection)
This person then got me help, and I never got closure. For so long, I thought my stepfather would come after me, but he probably never will, because he got what he wanted (money). I gave it to him, because my parents were wrestling with bigger things.
My mom didn't want to lose half of her money, and she didn't know how to get rid of my stepfather without doing so (that was my stepfather's plan all along, it was never about me). My dad didn't want to put his foot down, because doing so in the past, caused him to lose his family.
I am forever screaming at my parents, for not seeing how the things they do hurt us kids. But I am also learning why it was hard for them to do what I needed them to do. This is called "healing". It's why I try to put as much information on the table, for families to be able to see, and make more informed choices, in how to understand and treat each other.
I write because we all need connection. Even dedicated moms and practitioners. While I think it is wonderful, that some practitioners have their own group of people they can rely on, to talk things out and keep them regulated. I am sure this is something I would learn how to do, if I became a therapist.
I am not a therapist, because I chose not to become one. At first, because I don't believe in taking a test to determine my eligibility to enter the program. And, it would bore me to tears, to lay down the foundation, over and over and over again. I can't even teach the same class, once I've mastered everything that I can learn from the material.
This is why I love what I do, because I get to learn from the many different combinations people/souls use to build their life, instead of the few evidence-based boxes, typical therapy tries to put people back in. I suspect this is why that entrance exam is required, just like programming teachers at teachers' college. I do not pass, I don't put people in boxes, I break them out. If we don't honour who we are, we get sick.
I've outgrown many friends, teachers, coaches, therapists, family members, and it's not something I'm proud of.
I would love to be like the people I read about, listen to, and learn from, with their awesome group of friends and colleagues. I have some client/friends, and colleagues, my kids, and my husband. I grow and seek depth. I am tortured by shallow conversations, and get togethers, because I don't care about what people lie to themselves about. I want realness, and these are the discussions I get, in session, which are private, and in my articles and posts, which are semi private, for two reasons: 1) most people don't read my articles or posts, it's mostly a resource for me and the odd client who I send something directly to, and 2) it's semi pubic because "could anyone read it" "yes", but then they have to go through me going on and on and on, and I'm sure most people stop reading after a while.
The point of this is not to out anyone, it's not about them. It's about me having a place to go to work things out, with a willingness to have it be witnessed as I struggle. Because the possible presence of another keeps me more in line, more willing to look at myself, and say "is that really who I want to be".
I hope this is helpful, for anyone who may read, and also for me. I won't know until it's been released, and I get feedback from how I feel. Then I may edit, or may not. I never know.
Thank you for allowing me the space to write, to be, and honestly, don't hesitate to tell me "hey, that was out of line, I don't want that shared, I don't see myself that way". I may grow, and I will likely honour your request, by editing or removing what you don't like. The learning already happened for me in the creation and destruction, if there remains something important for me to share, I'll find a way to do so, that doesn't offend you (if you take the time to tell me what that is). I don't really want people out there hating me, that hurts my health too.
Maybe one day, I will have support in real life, and maybe I won't. Until then, I write.
Now I know why I love books, but I will never write one. It would bore me to tears to narrow down what I have to say into something clean that would offend no one. I could never commit to no more edits until the revision. It doesn't serve me and it doesn't serve others. It's the process that serves. Even if I make mistakes and go through horrible things, in order to become aware, of what needs to heal, so I can grow.
I am grateful to know that I can treat myself the way I would treat anyone else. Seeing myself through the lens that "all behavior makes sense". I am not wrong because I offend someone else. I do what I do because I am not well supported, because I support most of the people in my life, or I am being polite. Would I want things to be different, maybe, but that is not the choice that I have been given yet.
A client/friend shared "I think what you provide is amazing. You never have to be a therapist. You are providing a service of connection between my body and mind. That, is invaluable."
I hope to eventually be able to explain what it is that I do and what I don't do. So people can come to me, when what I have to offer is right for them, and seek other services when they wish I could be something else. I can not authentically be anyone other than me. If I try, I am sick. But I can grow, slowly, like everyone else. And I'm open to it, when it feels right.
After reading this article a friend/client shared that she had comments about something in the article that she thinks are relevant. To which I responded "I thought you would, and I look forward to hearing about it, I want people to know, they can approach me with something that is opposite from what they think I said, because I want to grow". To which she responded "I know. I get it. It makes sense. But not everyone is capable of it. And it’s your biggest telltale sign that you have a rainforest mind." And, in response to me saying "I also want people like you to know, I’m not looking to read your chart so I can tell everyone about what it says.", she said what most of my clients say "I’m not worried about it. Leave my name out of it and I really don’t mind. You grow through extrapolating information that is relevant."
This is why I want to become more and more clear about what it is that I have to offer, so clients can say what parts are for them and what parts are not. So we can respect one another, as much as possible.
This came to me, as I woke, a few days after writing this article (as many things do): It is probably because I write, that I have become so good at what I do. I am constantly weaving the layers of life together, in the different places where it makes sense to identify overlap. This information came to me as a visions, of someone sewing things from the other side, to cement them into this side of reality. Because I do this all the time, and not just in my head, I commit them to a public article, almost like a peer-review, where sometimes I get feedback from readers, but often it's from what life shows me or my own insecurities, that encourages me to adjust how I see things, and grow as a result. You get to see my inner process. Am I good, is it ok to struggle, am I trying to find a way to get along, are relationships hard for many of us, can I help you, is this the way that you lean too? And if not, that is good for you to know. I want people who do not align with my services to opt themselves out and find what is right for them. For me that's the point of a website, for you to see "am I right for you, or not?"
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